Recently I was freshening up my resume and found myself reminiscing over jobs I’d had over the years. Like most people I know, some have been awesome, some terrible, and others downright strange (okay, maybe not as bad as the elephant poop catcher job, but still!).

There was the time I worked at a well known electronics store and found out from a male colleague (who I briefly dated), that the manager had hired me partly as compensation for him working weekends.

I believe the managers words were: “If you work weekends, I’ll make it worth your while;” which was essentially a promise to hire a sales woman so that my male colleague could ‘meet’ a girl. Yeah…a bit of a strange way to bribe your male staff into working weekends, but anyhow – I guess it worked out for him!

Then there was the time I worked for a company which ended up being run out of a chemical factory. Now this wouldn’t be so odd if not for the fact that my job had nothing to do with chemicals – or that industry.

To put it in perspective, it was kind of like a podiatrist rocking up to work in a fish and chips shop.

I mean, at first I didn’t think much of it; we were just working out of a space that was shared by another business yeah? Sure, I did find some things a bit questionable, but I think the real ‘GTFO’ moment came when one of the owners of the factory (and his friend) started laughing about drugs at a staff event; asking me if I’d ever done cocaine.

Chemicals…cocaine…yeah you get where I’m going with this. 

As my friend joked (when I recounted stories from working there): “Dude. They are totally cooking…”

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But by far the strangest job experience I’ve ever had, was during an interview for an alternative therapies clinic.

Initially, when I saw the job advertised I thought it looked right up my alley. I’d always had an interest in natural and alternative health, and thought it would be interesting to work there as a receptionist.

The interview went well, and toward the end, the manager asked if I’d like to have a quick chat to one of the male health practitioners.

“He does things a bit differently,” she said – by warning or apology I wasn’t sure – but I was soon to find out.

“He likes to work with numbers, so he’ll probably ask you about your birth date and a few other things just to see how it matches up with your personality.”

“Oh okay,” I replied somewhat nervously, wondering what sort of questions I was about to be asked.

Walking into the office of the male practitioner, I took a seat and made some small talk. Sure enough, he asked me for my birth date, and a few other random details, and began adding numbers on a page until he came up with the figure that apparently represented who I was.

“You think a lot, you’re always circling things around in your mind,” he stated.

“Yeah…that is actually true,” I said, as he continued asking questions about myself. Maybe this guy does know what he’s talking about, I thought.

Then came a question I totally wasn’t ready for.

“Do you get constipated often?”

Wait, what?! I stared at this man who I’d known for all of three minutes, wondering if I’d actually heard him correctly.

“No, no I can’t say that I do,” I said incredulously.

“Really? It’s usually very common in people who are Gemini’s with this number.”

“Thanks Ryan Gosling, you really know how to make a girl feel spesh.”

“No…I really don’t have a problem with that,” I stated again. Although I can’t imagine anyone answering that question even if they DID have constipation!

Needless to say, I wasn’t that disappointed when I narrowly missed out on the job. Who knows, maybe they felt I wasn’t being ‘honest’ enough about my bowel movements.

I guess I”ll never know!

 

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