There’s a particular Australian blogger / personality figure who has risen to fame in recent years. Well known for her positive body image posts, and raw depictions of life as a mother and wife, she uses her own life experiences to make women laugh and learn to embrace their true selves.
I’m sure I don’t need to say her name for you to know who I’m talking about…
I’ve watched her posts pop up in my news feed increasingly in recent months, and have often found myself smiling along – even though I’m happily childless at present. But that said, I’ve also found myself confused and conflicted about liking some posts. “Real life” is what this woman is all about – it’s what makes her the high figure profile she’s become. But I do wonder how her husband feels about being the subject of many of her posts; not just the good, but also the bad.
How did he feel when she put up an ‘open letter’ style status telling him he should get a vasectomy because she was done having kids? Was it embarrassing when it went viral around the world?
How does he feel when she tells her hundreds of thousands of loyal followers that they haven’t ‘shagged’ for ages, or that she has gone to stay with a friend because they are fighting and she needs space?
Sure, she’s not the first to use her Facebook for comedic venting, and her husband has been known to chime in on her posts on occasion with a cheeky shit-stirring comment or a laugh…but is this really a healthy way to vent when you’re having marital issues?
Is it okay for women to do this, when we all know that a man would be labelled as a misogynistic dick if he wrote an open letter telling his wife to get her tubes tied?
I wonder: does he feel nervous that every time they argue the details will be posted online for all her followers to joke over? Does it get frustrating to see an army of women immediately jumping in to support his wife and offering their sympathy without hearing his side of the story?
And how might her kids feel to grow up and see the way she spoke about their dad – not to mention themselves? Do we have a right to post thousands of images of our kids, without their permission; to tell intimate details about their lives to the world?
There have been plenty of women and men who’ve expressed their interest in hearing their husband’s side of the story, but his reply was that essentially, to do so would mean the end of his marriage. I got the impression he was saying this with a bit of a laugh, but I wonder – why is it that his wife can vent publicly every time they have a fight, but for him to do so, would be seen as crossing the line?
Don’t get me wrong – I do think this woman does amazing work in the lives of others, and she’s certainly not the kind who tries to paint herself as a perfect person with a perfect life. She routinely embraces her flaws and shares with the world about her insecurities and her wins. She praises her husband for his patience. She doesn’t hesitate to use her platform to get behind a cause or an amazing person that the world needs to know about.
And that’s why I haven’t mentioned her by name (although I’m sure everyone will know). This isn’t a post about slamming her as a terrible woman. But it is a post with questions that I hope everyone will ponder for themselves.
Where is the line between entertainment and oversharing? Could this sort of honesty be creating comedy at the expense of your relationship? Is there anything that is off limits?
Yes, it’s good to laugh at the silly things we argue over, and at the end of the day, only she and her husband can say whether they feel comfortable about every element of their lives being made public for the world. But I do think we owe it to our partners and children to ponder on how they might feel – not just now but also in the future – every time we hit that ‘post’ button.
Excellent comment about humour used as the vehicle of gaining attention for something. There is a difference I agree, although I have no idea who you are talking about. I have a picture in my mind of a comedienne, though. I cannot remember her name, so this strikes me as a considerable point about where does the line go between the seriousness of a point and humour. And I do also think that it should be equally applying to both men and women. The way we use language much determines our relationships. And while we might think that a joke is a good one for a while, it grows old and so does a style of a comedy act, blogging included. And I find myself often getting fed up with bloggers that continue to bash themselves though bashing others, including their own partners. So! Thank you Jas for your thought.