If a genie were to grant you 3 wishes, what would you pick?

Aside from the obvious choices of wealth, fame and fortune I’m guessing many of us would wish to change something about ourselves. Even more likely however, is that if given the chance to change ourselves, I’m guessing most of us would pick physical traits. A smaller bum, better skin, bigger muscles, a flatter stomach, straighter hair, longer hair, a better tan, longer legs…Which of us haven’t wished for at least one of these things in our lifetime? And it’s really no surprise. Look around and there’s no hiding the multitude of images we are exposed to on a daily basis. Billboards, infomercials, magazines, film, music and our own human insecurities always telling us how we can make our bodies better, but rarely our character.

Look at the messages. “300 ways to look sexier”, “20 tips for hotter sex”, “50 ways to get that guy/girl”. How many articles do you see about working on our souls, our personalities?

 How many articles do we see encouraging us to be more compassionate, to seek success through acceptance of yourself rather than worldly possessions. To anchor your happiness in who you are, not what you do or how you look.

Physical obsession is the common norm, but just because it’s common doesn’t mean it should be our main focus. Of course it’s important to take pride in how you look. I love dressing up! I love my cute outfits, I love feeling sexy. But recently I’ve started trying to be more mindful of the importance of making over not only my physical body, but also my inner character.

The search for inner beauty can be a delicate balance to achieve sometimes, especially when trying to respect yourself whilst also yielding to other people’s needs. You feel like you either come across as a total doosh, or on the other hand, a complete doormat.

 I’m aiming to retain my creative, outgoing free spirit without overpowering other so that I can love more and be loved in return. I want to be strong and confident in myself, respectful of my rights whilst also being sensitive of others. I want to share my stories and make people laugh, but also take the time to listen. I want my friends to know I appreciate and am there for them, and I also want to be unafraid to ask them for help when I’m in need.

Our inner character is what supports our relationships; with our character and friendships interwoven like gnarled roots supporting the weight of the most beautiful tree. Selfishness, self obsession and untrustworthiness are like brittle, diseased branches, unable to support the weight of anything substantial, and failing to allow any growth.

Think about how amazing it is to be a part of another person’s life; to be trusted and loved, to share their highs and lows. We owe it to both ourselves and the loves of our lives to be all that we can be. If you think about the most beautiful friendships you’ve ever had, I can guarantee that you didn’t pick that person to be a part of your life because you thought they had amazing hair or a great body!

Sometimes looking inward is an ugly experience. We don’t want to see the reality that we aren’t perfect, and concede maybe that friend or partner was right when they said you needed to change.

So I’m going to issue you all a challenge- and don’t worry, I’ll be challenging myself as well! I challenge you to write a list of 5-10 NON-PHYSICAL attributes that you would change about yourself if you could, then look at what you can do to start living these changes. Believe me, it’s a lot harder than writing about the physical things you’d change! Don’t waste time hating yourself. Be insightful, mindful, love life and live as the greatest ‘you’ that you can be.

 “I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror

I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways

And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer

If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place,

Take A Look At Yourself,

And Then Make A Change”

 –Michael Jackson

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