“I’LL NEVER FORGET THAT DAY; the way the bile rose up my throat and my stomach clenched at the sight of Blake walking into my workplace. Panicking, I ran into one of the storerooms, hyperventilating. I didn’t know what was happening, or what to do, so I just stood there helplessly, eventually pulling myself together before any of my coworkers noticed.”
Clutching the steering wheel tightly, I feel my stomach begin to clench in that all-too-familiar way.
Anxiety and panic begin to rise within my chest, and suddenly, I’m gasping for air. Negative, judgemental thoughts circle my mind as I fight internally to silence them.
Let me tell you now, there are few things worse than experiencing a panic attack — except perhaps, when they come out of nowhere as you’re driving along a freeway at 110km/h with nowhere to pull over.
On this particular day, it hit me like a ton of bricks. “Where is this coming from?’”I remember asking myself, trying desperately to calm my breathing and take control. “Why am I panicking about something that happened so many years ago?”
I thought everything was fine; I thought I was fine
Still, the nagging in my head remained. The little thought that what had happened was my fault. That was when it hit me: the true extent of what I had gone through years earlier. That I had in fact, been involved in an abusive relationship.