Okay, let’s get something straight men.
I reserve the right to like you.
I also reserve the right to NOT like you.
Forget love being a battlefield, before you even get to that stage there are so many mineshafts, land mines and bullets to dodge just in dating!
I think I just dodged a giant bullet this weekend, and managed to escape pretty much intact despite some sore fingers from over-texting and a giant stress headache!What is it with men these days thinking that you MUST like them just because you’ve hung out with them more than once?
Oh the things I have learnt in the last week!
The following is a summarised version of our conversations over a few days.
Guy: (1 week after meeting) “So do you even like me more than a friend yet, or are you not there yet? Just want to know my chances.”
This was, in itself, a pretty clear indicator that this was a needy guy. I don’t like to lead people on, so I gently explained that I’m not keen to rush things and am happy with building a friendship first before anything else. He seems to take it well. Or so I thought.
Guy: “Ok, that’s cool 🙂 ”
Guy: (1minute later) “So you’re not attracted to me?! 😦”
What the? Who says that?! Honestly all this questioning makes me feel uncomfortable! I mean, I can count on one hand the amount of times I’ve met this guy!
Guy: (several minutes later) “Ok I get it! I’m sorry for asking, sorry I won’t ask anymore! Have a nice night’.
Phewwwww, bullet dodged! (so i thought)
[2 blissful, sms/call free days later]
Guy: ‘Morning Jas, are you pissed at me for some reason? You haven’t spoken to me since wed night!?”
Ohhh boy…doesn’t this guy have a life!? I politely and gently explain that I’m not pissed at him (YET!) but I do feel that perhaps we are in different places and he wants more than me at this stage. I’m uncomfortable with feeling pressured to explain to a guy I’ve only met several times how I feel. I understand his curiosity to know where he stands, but I am not interested.
Guy: “Okay sorry for making you feel that way!]It was wrong of me to push you, I won’t do so anymore, I hope you don’t back off I am sorry 😦”
Oh boy. This is now the SECOND time he has brought the subject up after saying he was done with it! But surely he’s got the point now right? Maybe I should just not write back at all, that way he’ll get that I’m not interested in anything other than friendship. Okay, yep, that’ll work!
Guy: [several hours later] Hey jas, how’s your day going? So are you going to give me another chance?”
:O WHAAAAAAAAAA——? I suddenly have the urge to start hitting my head against closest brick wall. Okay let’s try one more time.
I type V.E.R.Y C.L.E.A.R.L.Y and concisely… just friend thanks.
Guy: “So you and me are not going forward anymore!?”
Is he reading anything I’m writing??
And why does he always have to end everything with a ‘?!’
?!
Guy: “Is that what you want?!”
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
It is at this point I realise I will NEVER get through to this guy by being nice. So I resort to the good old blunt knife of vocabulary and tell him “no offense” but he’s getting his creep on, I don’t appreciate it, and I pretty much don’t want to see him at all thanks to his incessant creeping!
What followed was a pretty nasty comment war on his part, with a barrage of personal attacks. As if that’s gonna win me over!?
Apparently me not liking him after one week meant that I was immature and too young to know what a relationship is, and that I should have stated I was after friendship (UMM PRETTY SURE I DID, SEVERAL TIMES!). I think my favourite quote from the saga was, ‘You will understand better when you’re my age!’ Bahahah I hope I have a better understanding of relationships than him by the age of 30!
Unfortunately there are a lot of hurt men out there with rejection issues. The good news is, if you’re honest from the beginning you have nothing to appologise for. If you’re not interested, let the guy know. If he can’t handle it, that’s his problem!
SO! THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS…
Just because Jack Johnson sang ‘Oh you’re such a pretty thing, I’ll take you and I’ll make you allll mine’, doesn’t mean you can take any pretty girl you see and make her yours!
Especially if you don’t have a voice like JJ to back up what you’re sayin yo!
Peace out brussel sprouts!
Jas
Thoughts From Jas 